When it comes to battling lust and pornography it is important to keep in mind three things: the good, the bad and what it means to be godly. Here are some reflections taken from Proverbs 5 on this topic.
As men we have a sex organ that is literally a fountain. That fountain can either be frustrated (Proverbs 5:16-17) or it can be blessed. The way it is blessed is by rejoicing in the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18). I have been particularly struck by v. 19 in this Proverb, “be intoxicated always in her love.” A beer does not make me intoxicated, but being intentional to drink the beer makes me intoxicated. It isn’t just one drink either, but it’s going back to it continually. It is the same way with my wife, I have to be intentional about setting her above all else and looking to her as what I find intoxicating and delightful at all times.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; – Proverbs 5:19
It may be easy to place blame on the wife and say she has a lower sex drive and isn’t interested having her breasts fill you. That is blame shifting and we can still control what we desire. The dire consequences of looking elsewhere to fulfill our fountains are extreme as well. The one who looks to either breasts for delight will find himself saying, “I am at the brink of utter ruin (Proverbs 5:14).” The woman who wants to tempt you with her breasts online (or in real life) or in a friendship that doesn’t honor God or your marriage is one whose “feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; (Proverbs 5:5)” and she wants to take you with her.
If you are not married it can be easy to find this passage depressing because you don’t have a wife to delight in and our society and culture makes lust and pornography look not that wrong. One of the things that I enjoy about this passage is that the reason for avoiding lust and pornography isn’t ultimate to protect marriage. The motivating factor for purity isn’t your current spouse or future spouse, but it is God:
For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths. (Proverbs 5:21 ESV)
When you are tempted to flirt with that co-worker God’s eyes are on you and he knows the path your mind is going down. When you are about to click on that link to the inappropriate website God’s eyes are on you and he knows the path your mind is going down.
When you look at the woman dressed inappropriate and start to undress her with your mind God’s eyes are on you and he knows the path your mind is going down.
This verse is why youth pastor’s would always say, imagine God is with you in the room/car/movie theater when you are on a date. If you aren’t married and on a date God’s eyes are on you and he knows the intentions of your heart in regards to if you want to guard her purity or use her for sexual fulfillment even if you don’t have sex.