Bought by the Blood

November 14, 2008

Piper on parenting

There is a great story that John Piper tells about raising girls.  After raising four boys, the Pipers decided to adopt a little girl.  One of the things that was a bit of a learning curve for John was what it’s like to play with girls as opposed to boys.  Below is a humorous story that he told in a message of parenting and biblical masculinity.

Now I’ve got a 5 year old girl we adopted five years ago.  Talitha gets her playtime all to herself.  I did this four times with a guy.  I know guys.  Now I’m doing this with a girl and it doesn’t make any sense to me.  I’m turning this little dolls into bombers, I’m saying, “Let’s do this.  Let’s fly her over, she’ll drop the block on the top and boom!  blow it up!”

She says, “Let’s play people.”

I respond, “Well OK, what do you mean?”She goes over and gets her house and I look at her and say, “Well what are they going to do? What’s going to happen?”

She says, “Well, they’re going to have supper.”

“That’s all!?!?”

“Well, yeah.”

The whole playtime is just rearranging people.  I’m like, come on, we got have a bomber or a helicoptor or something.  Somethings gotta blow up!

The purpose of the story is two-fold.  One, the importance of building affection in the family and the fruit that it will bear down the line.  Secondly, is how if kids are shown that type of affection, than spanking can be a redemptive experience.  On the topic of affection and learning to play with his daughter Piper goes to say:

I’m learning.  I’m trying to figure this out because I’m going to be there for her…Will she want me around when she has to deal with guys and sexual things and guys are going to want her?  Will she come to me?  Will she listen?  My investment right now is the answer to that question.  Right now do I give myself to her?  Right now do I get my hands on her purely, purely, so that she knows what it’s like to be touched purely?  Hugged, kissed, held in my lap, feels a mans body and knows what it’s like.  You don’t have to sell yourself to a mans body, she knows what a pure thing is like.  You can wait for it.  Dads are so important in a kids life.  They grow up healthy because dad touched them in a right way.

Piper goes on to explain that spanking cannot be done out of anger, but as an act of love.  God disciplines His children because He loves them.  If we love our kids we will use discipline so that they don’t grow up to be disobedient and rebellious. Discipline and intimacy go hand in hand.  Children are taught to fear God, by how they fear their parents.  A healthy fear of God does not involve running from God, but running to God and having reverence and respect for Him.  Children should have that same attitude towards their parents as parents show kids the love of Christ.


1 Comment »

  1. […] have posted before about fatherhood and affection and how it relates to purity and discipline.  The correlation between purity and affection from […]

    Pingback by Teaching Your Kids Sexual Purity « Bought by the Blood — February 24, 2009 @ 2:41 pm | Reply

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